New Year=New Life

I wonder how many blogs will be titled "New Year"?


I am not going to have any resolutions for the year 2009. I think its a foolish idea to have resolutions. Everyone knows that they are what we should have done last year but were too lazy to try. Besides that, we'll quit them two weeks into the year anyway. So why bother?


I titled this blog "New Year=New Life" because that is literally what will happen to me. I am going to have a new life in 2009. I have been chosen to be the youth pastor at First Assembly of God in Tyler, TX and am moving there on the fifth of January. This is a giant leap for my future and am glad that God is leading me into new places of ministry. It is one of the oldest A/G churches in existence, but is going through a complete overhaul. They are building a brand spanking new building and I'm getting in on the ground floor. So, yay for me.

I am also getting married sometime this year. BIG change of pace for my life. I don't know when I'm to be married but it will be sometime this year. The joys and stress of planning a marriage, moving to a new location, starting a new job, and trying to balance everything and everyone have begun to make me crazy. I'm happy, don't get me wrong, but it is a tremendous load of stress also.

I never complain about being stressed. I find it so annoying when someone does. Everyone has stress. Deal with it. So, every time you ask me how I'm doing, I will answer "I'm great!".

Anyway, enough about my stress soapbox. I hope everyone has a great year and that you will pray for mine. I'll need it.

Thanksgiving!

I feel like I've gained 30lbs this week! I have eaten SO much food! Aah! But its been great!

My fiance and I left Paris, Texas at 4:15pm on Tuesday and arrived in Hickory, North Carolina at 1:00pm on Wednesday! We drove almost 20 hours! We did make it a little longer due to the side attractions in Hot Springs, Arkansas and Ridgecrest, North Carolina.

I am spending my first thanksgiving with my fiance's family in Hickory! It has been a great experience so far. The food is great, the weather is nice, and the family is a hoot! I have really enjoyed the time we've spent with them. Her brothers are very easy to talk to and are a blast.

I'm missing my grandparents and hope they are doing well. This was my grandpa's first holiday without grandma so I'm sure its rough. I feel so bad for him. Its hard for me to imagine not having someone after being with them for so many years.

I have truly enjoyed this week with Bethany. It feels like its only been a day. It seems that the more we are together, the more I fall in love with her. I love you honey! Happy Thanksgiving!

Exercise

Good morning erbody!

Again, I haven't posted in forever! I just forget.

I have gotten myself back to the gym. Hooray! I've lost 7lbs so far. I weighed in at 311 last week and now at 304. I am ready to lose this weight! I've been walking a whole lot and am hoping to lose a lot. My girlfriend and I have a good competition going. Whoever loses the most weight wins...something! We don't particularly know what yet, but it will be great!

Know the soreness is killing me! haha.

A New Place

I have taken steps today that will propel me further into the presence of God. I feel that I am on the tips of my toes and leaning all the way forward off of an enormous cliff. Just a little further and I will leap into the never-ending glory and power that is the Lord. Just one more step and I will leave everything that was behind me and let myself go in His presence. I know that my life is about to drastically change and I am looking to see how the Father will lead me into the new things of life and the secret places of the Most High.

I crave the relationship with God that Paul had. The nearness to Jehovah that Moses experienced. The miracles that Peter performed. The devotion and love that David had. Yet, I realize that I cannot be these men. I can only be Zebulon Parker. I must seek my own relationship with Jesus Christ. I cannot rely on any other person to make me holy. I can't ride on anyone's anointing but my own. My life must be lived and sacrificed by me.

Thank you Father for your endless mercies and grace. Without them I would forever dead. Thank you for your sacrifice. I love you.

A Deeper Level II

This is the second blog on "A Deeper Level". Read part I here.

So, to recap, we have established that I am a highly internal person. There is an entire world of thoughts and imaginations in my mind at any given time. Whom or what I choose to love is something that I am solid on. Okay, so that last line wasn't recapping at all.

______________________________________________________________________

Let's talk about music. Music affects me in so many ways. It can alter my mood or feelings during the day. I have realized that the choice of music that I listen to is often indicative of what my emotions or mood is. I also have many memories that are tied to a song or tune. I know that many people are this way but I am just telling you what I am like.

What is it about music? What is it really? We know that it is something that mankind has enjoyed for several millennium. It is used for celebration, entertainment, remembrance, and major milestone events in our lives. Could you imagine a wedding without music? Or a funeral? Music is something that is completely intertwined in our lives. In every other culture on the earth, music is found.

In my opinion, music could be the highest form of communicating what we truly feel. Why are we so drawn into a good song? Why are some tunes so catchy? It seems to drive us. There are some songs that really pull you into what the artist is trying to convey. What may be even more interesting is how we develop our "taste" in music. Why do some people like rock and hate rap? Who really likes polka? Is geography a factor at all in our choice of music? Obviously not. What determines our choice? These are all very interesting lines of thought and research topics that I think about.

I've read and taken part in studies that involved the effect that music has on the brain in testing and recovery. I learned how music increases the memories of people's minds during a test. I also read how it can improve the recovery time of people who are ill. I would love to have the money to just perform experiments with music all day and figure out how and why we love music so much. It is the single greatest outlet, hobby, and stress-reliever in my life and I encourage you to try some music that you've never heard before. You might like it!

A Deeper Level

I am going to share something with you tonight that I never have before...a deeper level of my thoughts.

I view myself as a very internal person. The majority of my life has been spent in my mind. This can sound confusing or just plain silly but I will explain. I think a whole lot. Basically, I think as much or more than most women talk. I usually don't talk or take action unless I've thought about it. So, I may seem quiet or not paying attention, I am just internalizing. This does not mean that I'm not friendly or approachable. Every time that I meet someone I am completely open in conversation, I just divulge any information of myself.

When I really talk a lot, that usually means I'm either passionate about that topic or am just really engaged in stimulating conversation. Since I cannot compare my thought process to any other person's, I am not able to fully gauge what I am like. I am a very "mental" person. (No, not like the Velcro-laced shoes kind of mental) Even my emotions are tied to this. You will probably never see me truly get emotional. I have never been in one extreme of any emotion. I never let any emotion affect my level of consciousness or decisions. I am more concerned with the logical aspects of the situation. If something is wrong, fix it. Don't whine about it, just fix it. I am a very no-nonsense, black and white kind of person.

People come to me whining about how hard something is or how they don't know if they can make it with their pressure and I automatically get sick. Not like the flu sickness either. I get sick of that person. I cannot stand complaining about something when the only thing that is necessary is action. Now if someone truly needs help, then by all means I will help them. It is when someone acts so pitiful and whiny that I just walk away. This may seem calloused or hard but that is simply how I see the world. Less complaining, more action.

I see things as right or wrong. There are occasional gray areas but they are very rare. I rarely ever vary from those standards that I have set and require evidence that proves me otherwise before I change my view on anything.

So, this is just a small piece of the puzzle that makes up my mind. It isn't complete so I may continue writing on this in future blogs. Peace out.

Love

Here is a much more cheerful post.

I am so happy and thankful that Bethany and I were brought together in love. It is an amazing thing, love. There have been innumerable songs written about it and will be. The great king Solomon wrote literal thousands of songs for love. The Bible is filled with references of love.

Here's a few to refresh your memory...
"Greater love has no one than he that lays his life down for his friends",
"God is love",
"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily

It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

Love never fails"


It is an interesting concept in life. As children we see love from our parents. As teenagers we think we're in love. As young adults we seek out love. In our middle age we know we are in love. Finally, in our twilight years we wish for love. It is a vital part of our very being! Find someone that is not in love and you will find a miserable person. I am a young adult and believe that I have found love. I have found one of the most important and powerful things our lifetime, love for another person and love in return.

We, as humans, take love very seriously. What will people do for love? The greatest wars in history were fought over love. We have an entire holiday set aside for it. There is a constant need for books and movies about love in the media industry. The largest organization and machine on the planet is pornography, a misguided search for love. We are totally infused with the concept of love and the search for it. We crave it and desire it in everything we do. It is written in our DNA.

Patience

It seems all I do is apologize for not writing in this blog. I haven't been keeping up with it lately. In all honesty, I haven't wanted to. Whether it be facing what I know I'm going through or just not feeling up to it, I'm not sure.

I find myself looking around and being reminded of what the bottom of the barrel looks like. I don't visit here very often, but when I do, I'm miserable. It is at this point that I don't have any more of myself to give or any thing that I can do that I see the only one that is still there. Even in this place of my soul, He is there. And I melt. When everything else falls apart, He is still standing there, waiting for my hand. His patience is astounding to me. My heart breaks at seeing Him here. Why is He still here? Why keep pursuing me?

It tears at my heart, knowing that I have waited until this point to finally look to Him. That I don't have enough faith and trust in Him to keep me. That I don't believe Him when times are bad. That I don't talk to Him until I need something. The worst part of it all is His smile. I feel like a small child when I fell and hurt myself and ran to dad crying. He would just smile and take care of me. I've fallen Lord, I need you. I need your help and comfort. These tears are for pain in my life and for your mercy for me.

There is nothing I could ever do to repay what my Father has done for me. I can't understand His love for me. Thank you. I love you Father.

Time

Hello all. Today is my birthday. Yay! I'm the ripe old age of twenty four. I just had one of the best times with my girlfriend and her parents. It was a blast, meeting the parents and getting acquainted. They seem like really nice people.

I just saw a movie trailer and found it disgusting. Here is the Yahoo! link for it. http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809842364/trailer

This is part of the "Anti-Christ" spirit that is slowly infiltrating the church and world. It is so easy to see that the rapture of the church is so near. The sad thing is that we don't even see it. We choose not to. When we have a woman that has no spiritual revelation of her own and has the largest church in the world, we have a problem. (Oprah Winfrey) I dare you to read her ideas on Jesus and the cross and see if it matches the Word of God. We have preachers who will not preach the truth and will only tickle our ears with smooth and eloquent words. The church even has some ministers that preach that there is no Hell and we all go to Heaven, no matter what.

Here is what scripture says...

Galatians 1:3-9
3.Grace be to you and peace from God the Father, and from our Lord Jesus Christ,

4.Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father:

5.To whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

6.I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel:

7.Which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ.

8.But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.

9.As we said before, so say I now again, if any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.

Even so, come, Lord Jesus...

Wow

So. I have had an entirely too crazy week....make that month. September was tough. My grandma died on the 11th. My grandpa(other side) also had surgery on that same day and is currently having to go once a week for 6 weeks for chemotherapy. My cousin had both breasts removed on the 18th and is undergoing 5 chemo treatments a week for 6 weeks. Our girl dog had a litter of puppies, but died after one week. Now we're having to bottle feed 9 puppies! We drove my dad to the E.R. at 6:30 am on Monday. His blood pressure was 228/114! He had all the scans, tests, and pokes done to him until today when he was discharged. Little sister has strep throat. The church is financially crumbling and we don't have health insurance. So....yeah. It has probably been 3 years since I had health insurance. Praise God, I haven't had to go to the doctor once!

I am glad October is here...
This is my favorite month of the year. Not just because it is my girlfriend and my birthdays, but also because of the weather and feel of the year. I love October.

Layout

Howdy! I had a fairly good day today. Its has basically been one of those "don't do anything" kind of days. I'm sitting here chillin at the house and watching tv.

I was inspired by Bethany's profile change and decided to find something different myself. I thought I would try out a fall (ish) layout.

So, I am definitely ready for my girlfriend's and I birthdays! October 1st through the 3rd! Can't wait!

Well, my posts have been a little short lately but I can't think about much right now. I hope that God blesses you and keeps you in His hands

Balloons!

It has been quite a while since I last posted. I had the best weekend I've had in a really long time. It was definitely the best date I've ever been on and Bethany and I loved it! We went to the Plano Balloon Festival and enjoyed ourselves. We even got to hear the worst British impersonations through the "Beatles Tribute Band". lol. I think I could have done a better job as Ringo but you know, whaddya say?

I fell in love with Bethany again this week. She continues to amaze me and make me feel like I am needed and wanted. One of the funniest times was at IHOP. There was a drunk lady and her man eating at the table next to us. She went in to an entire speech to her waitress about how wonderful she was doing and could barely stay awake. Great times. Although, I did almost have to hold Bethany down so she wouldn't kill all of the homecoming school kids. Yikes!

Well, its 10:45 pm and I can't decide if I want to go to bed or watch Monty Python's quest for the Holy Grail....

Rest

So...I am finally back. My grandmother died last Friday and I drove up to Oklahoma for her services. The family took it fairly well. She was an amazing woman of God and constantly prayed for her family. I didn't realize the family was that big until we were all there! She had 20 grandchildren and 23 great grandchildren! Wow. So, I haven't had any internet access for a while.

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and happy. I am glad that I do not have to work today, as there is plenty of work to do around the house. I've got to clean my room from the hurricane that I left it in. (Quick packing)

I think that I and the rest of America is tired of the presidential election. I am so sick about hearing somebody said this and someone did that. Just hurry along November 4th.

Well, I'm gonna see if I can do something productive today.

Boring

Okay, so I'm blank on anything today... I did see a really cool military helicopter flying very low to me today. It was some kind of stealth copter. As you can see, I'm tired.

I'm getting up at 5:30 am and don't want to. Unloading trucks that early is not fun. Well, I can't wait until next weekend! I get to see my girlfriend! And then birthday time!

I shall be much more interesting tomorrow. Thanks to all and may God bless you!

Bye

Tired

I'm tired. Tired of not making enough money to save any. I am ready to really start making the dough. Obviously, that won't happen in the ministry but I can still dream.

I really want a vacation too. I just want to get away and relax. I really don't care where it is either! Colorado would be best though. Our family hasn't had a vacation in...5 years. We are severely overdue.

The past couple of days have been very powerful for my girlfriend's and my relationship. We have seen that we can not only survive but thrive together. It is only in conflict that your character is tested. We experienced a little and came out with flying colors. It was great. I love you Bethany.

So, I really am tired now. Its 11:49 pm and I need to catch up on sleep. Good night!

Country Thinkin

It is extremely late to be writing a blog but it kind of just "hit me". I get these random thoughts occasionally and love it.

Today was an okay kinda day. It rained for most of the time and I was outdoors during it! Had to clean up a nasty spill at work and that was enlightening. The smell of raw sewage isn't something customers usually want to smell while shopping...haha.

I had a good long talk with the folks about money, moving, and whatnot. We tried to figure out what it would cost me to move. Scary. Like, impossible without a great paying job or two scary. If God provides a way for me, I will be able to move. Without Him I can do nothing and in this case, it is very literal. Did I mention that I've had a headache all day? Don't know why...

I had a ...discussion with someone today about being redneck and wanted to talk about this. Let me first clarify that this is in no way retaliatory to their statements or opinions. This is what I say. I am proud of my country, southern, redneck heritage. The term redneck comes from The West Virginia Coal Miners March or the Battle of Blair Mountain when coal miners wore red bandannas around their necks to identify themselves as seeking the opportunity to unionize. It also comes from people who worked outdoors for most of their lives and developed a "red neck" from the sun.

I have supplied a few visual examples of what I mean. I have total pride and respect in my heritage. There is nothing for me to feel ashamed about when I say that I am a redneck or country boy. It boils me quickly when I feel that I am either being made fun of or thought down on because of who I am. I am proud to say that I grew up on my grandfather's farm and that both sides of my family grew their own food. They provided with produce and cattle during the Great Depression and afterward for their families and survived. Both sides of my family would be the symbol of what "country" is. One side is entirely cowboy and the other redneck.

Do not misinterpret me though. I will be the first in line when it comes to changing something that is derogatory or negative to my behavior. I cannot stand people that cannot read, write, or speak clearly at all by their choice. If someone cannot learn or needs help, then by all means they are excused. I am not associating myself with the "image" of the hick that the media has produced. (No teeth, drunk, spitting tobacco, can hardly talk, mentally challenged.) Those are actually few and far between but nevertheless, that is not what a redneck is.

Obviously, you can see that this is an important issue to me and is one that is near to my heart. I am not offended by any means, I purely wanted to reveal a part of who I am and what I stand for. This is not something that can be changed because it is not something that needs to. I am truly a jack of all trades. I am a person who loves opera and classical music. Who also enjoys movies, theatre, guns, rap, knives, hunting, fishing, museums, sophistication, intellectual discussions, sitting around a campfire, cold weather, rock and roll, ( okay basically every type of music) and s'mores. I almost like it all. I love hispanic people, black people, white people, asian people, european people, or just anything from the three human classes. Oh and I'm a redneck.

Ready

Today...was boring. All work and no play. That's been the theme of late. I caught up on sleep, which was nice, but didn't have any time to do anything. Hopefully tomorrow will be different.

I am really ready to move. I've been crossing my fingers for a job in Paris and nothing has happened as of yet. Gotta get the job, then the house, and then hopefully a life! Ready.

I noticed that I've been impatient today. I don't know why. Maybe it is frustration
over not having money or being where I want to be. Hmm...that may be it!

Lately I've been performing an inventory of myself as a whole. Like a computer system, I need updates. There are several things that I want to change about myself and have struggled to do so in the past. For example, I often feel guilty or uncomfortable when I voice and stand on an opinion that is against my friends, girlfriend, or family. Obviously, I'm not talking about matters of concrete faith, or terribly sincere things. They are typically trivial things but occasionally, they are not. I am teaching myself to be...well, me. It is not easy.

Do not mistake this as myself being a confused person. I know exactly who I am in Christ and life. It is not a problem of not knowing who I am, rather a problem of knowing who I am and changing that. I am in a constant state of changing and growing. I do not believe in certain conditions that "make" people the way they are. We are often too quick to departmentalize people in categories to fit our own understandings and explanations. A boy isn't paying attention in class, therefore he is ADD. A young girl is hyper so she must be ADHD! (By the way, only 3-5% of the world's population has ADHD. So...) And yes even the OCD's. Why so many acronyms? I believe that we often "declare" what we are to the world so we can explain our own quirky behavior.

I believe that we make who we are. If I see something wrong in myself, I should fix it. It is as simple as that. The only problem is fixing it. We, as humans, do not like change. We never have. It is not that we cannot change though but that we do not. We have the choice. We choose not to. Go ahead. Take a few seconds and mull that one over. Breathe in....breathe out.
Every single person chooses who they want to be. If I am sarcastic and too sharp, then I must change myself. If I am too lazy or a pushover, I must adjust the way I live. Everything is a choice.

So, to everyone I know, I am being more persistent, forthright, and bold with my opinions. I should not feel guilty if I must listen to everyone else's...right? Too long I have let things go just to keep the peace. I am changing myself for the better and will stand on the issues that I want to stand on.

Thank you. Good night.

Late

Hey erbody! I still have 5 minutes to this day so I'll be in a hurry. I had a fairly good day. We had a good service and the Lord moved in people's lives.

Today was basically a lazy Sunday. I am really thankful for that too! I was able to relax and take it easy. Work is definitely not something I am looking forward to in 8 hours from now. Oh well.

I am ready to move. Most definitely. Prayerfully, a job will open up soon and I can afford to go. I look forward to the things that God has in store for me and can't wait until I receive them! Well, its time to go to sleep so.... G'Night.

Saturday

I had an okay kind of day today. I don't particularly care for working on Saturdays but alas, one must do what one can if to survive! That reminds me of an old song called Money.

A thought came to me today. (Imagine that!) Every girl/woman I saw today I compared to Bethany. In a good way. I would think, "She isn't as pretty as Bethany" or "I'm so glad that she chose me". It was refreshing. I loved the feeling that I had the exact person that matched me.

I often wonder about what I will be like five years from now. Where will I be? What will I be doing? Who will I be? This can all add a bit of anxiety to one's life. I can't deny that I worry or fret over my future, but I also know that it is all in God's hands. It reminds me of this verse.

Philippians 4:11 "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."

I don't think that this gives me a reason to be lazy or confined to where I am at now. Rather, I believe that this verse interprets as saying, "Be happy. Wherever you are, in whatever shape you are in, be happy." Then I started thinking about those songs, "Don't worry, be happy" and "Three little birds"! Great songs when you're worried about stuff. So, I encourage you all to be happy with what you are doing now. Don't stay where you've always been, but be whatever and wherever God wants you to be.

Ciao

Crazy

This is only a side entry for today...

I was on lunch and browsed by a website that I usually get all of my funny crap from and saw this. I cried my eyes out I was laughing so hard! Here's to all you people from North Carolina! *wink wink. ;)

Warmth

The Lord is so good to me. He supplies my every need. I am so thankful for my girlfriend, Bethany. She is everything that I imagined love would be and more. Last night was a critical one for the both of us. I was able to fully open myself to someone for the first time. Without getting all complicated or telling a long story, I will just say that in my heart and soul I know that I have found the one person in the world that I can truly trust and confide in. It is a rare gift to find someone as such. I cherish our love and friendship every single day.

I know in the deepest caverns of my soul that I am unabashedly, unequivocally in love with Bethany Pearce. That is the most amazing feeling in the world, feeling your heart anchored to the heart of the one you love. I shall never forget it.

Thank you Bethany. For warming my heart and giving life to my own. It is something, to be a son in the hands of a loving God. I weep at His love for me.

Prayer

So....my opinion on the Republican party changed dramatically in one night. Wow. Palin's speech was awesome! It was about 10 minutes into her speech and I said, "Everyone in America is thinking the exact same thing. That's why he picked her!".


I made first contact with my gf's dad yesterday. "Dum...Dum...Dummmm!" Naw, he was really cool. He was easy to talk to and joke with. Now I just need to talk with mum!

So, I didn't know that guys could get mammograms until last night. A friend of mine is having one today. He has a really sore spot on his chest and its been there a while. Pray for him if you can. While on this topic, my cousin recently found that she has stage 4 cancer and is scheduled to have both breasts removed on the 18th. Please keep her in your prayers and believe with me that she will be healed!

Adieu!

Awake...

I woke up at 6:31 am today. It was one of those times where you are jerked from sleep so fast that you don't even know what happened. I was totally awake. I Didn't know why but felt like I needed to pray. Those are so weird sometimes.

So I think I found who I'm voting for in November! Chuck Baldwin of the Constitution party. I've never voted for anyone from an independent party before but his stance on issues are the best I've seen. He's a Baptist pastor in Pensacola, Florida and has his own internet radio station. Check him out! www.baldwin08.com

I am so ready for the next stages in my life. I feel that there are places that God is wanting to take me. They will require new sacrifices and give new rewards. My old youth pastor would say that I am in the "God Fog". I'm trying to feel out where God wants me and can't see a thing! I believe that letting go is the key. If I let go and give everything to God, He will direct my path...

Greeting

Greetings to all. This is a collection of my thoughts on life, love, and everything in between. I will be daringly honest and will hold nothing back. This will be the only place that you will know my mind, so if you care, cherish it.

I will expose inner folds of my mind and it will not always be pretty. We are all given a mind of our own, so there may be views or opinions that you find agreeable or offensive. That is your discretion.

Congratulations on being one of few to know the real me. So sit down, buckle up, and please keep your hands inside the vehicle. Its going to be a bumpy ride.

P.S. Don't feed the animals.