A Deeper Level

I am going to share something with you tonight that I never have before...a deeper level of my thoughts.

I view myself as a very internal person. The majority of my life has been spent in my mind. This can sound confusing or just plain silly but I will explain. I think a whole lot. Basically, I think as much or more than most women talk. I usually don't talk or take action unless I've thought about it. So, I may seem quiet or not paying attention, I am just internalizing. This does not mean that I'm not friendly or approachable. Every time that I meet someone I am completely open in conversation, I just divulge any information of myself.

When I really talk a lot, that usually means I'm either passionate about that topic or am just really engaged in stimulating conversation. Since I cannot compare my thought process to any other person's, I am not able to fully gauge what I am like. I am a very "mental" person. (No, not like the Velcro-laced shoes kind of mental) Even my emotions are tied to this. You will probably never see me truly get emotional. I have never been in one extreme of any emotion. I never let any emotion affect my level of consciousness or decisions. I am more concerned with the logical aspects of the situation. If something is wrong, fix it. Don't whine about it, just fix it. I am a very no-nonsense, black and white kind of person.

People come to me whining about how hard something is or how they don't know if they can make it with their pressure and I automatically get sick. Not like the flu sickness either. I get sick of that person. I cannot stand complaining about something when the only thing that is necessary is action. Now if someone truly needs help, then by all means I will help them. It is when someone acts so pitiful and whiny that I just walk away. This may seem calloused or hard but that is simply how I see the world. Less complaining, more action.

I see things as right or wrong. There are occasional gray areas but they are very rare. I rarely ever vary from those standards that I have set and require evidence that proves me otherwise before I change my view on anything.

So, this is just a small piece of the puzzle that makes up my mind. It isn't complete so I may continue writing on this in future blogs. Peace out.